The Planets Now
Apr 21, 2014 12:09 GMT
You will be running through green fields this afternoon, and the smell of wildflowers will lightly scent the air while the birds tweet a pleasant melody. Then the cops will catch you.
You will find love today for only $50.00.
You will feel like you have been snake bitten once too often by the end of this day.
I can't enlighten you today. The Boss' dog, Taz, ate your horoscope.
Just because your psychic said you will get lucky tonight. It does not mean you should go out and buy $500 worth of lottery tickets!
Today is not a good day to seek employment unless you can say, "do you want fries with your order?" in two languages.
Today you will receive a letter from the I.R.S. stating that you have an appointment for an audit. Failure to appear is subject to a bench warrant being issued. You're appointment was last week.
You will wish you were burnt at the stake like a witch, rather than have another day like today.
Those stocks and bonds you sold at a loss will reach an all time high today.
Not to make you feel bad, but even the boy in the bubble has a life.
Your psychic intuition will be sharp today, and the spirits will tell you the winning lottery numbers. Listen closely, because the doctor will be increasing your Thorazine this afternoon.
Today the election board will contact you wanting to know exactly how many precincts you voted in, in the last election.
Astrologeese -- Not Here!
Information in Down to Earth, Plain English.
Ever been to one of those astrology sites where you leave knowing less than when you started? How many times have you felt like your astrologer speaks a different language than you - astrologeese? At ZodiacBrat.com, we keep the information at a level where you can understand it. We will never talk above you. We are very selective when we choose articles for our site, and only the best astrologers are published here. Some of our content may keep you on the floor laughing (we hope), but our ultimate goal is to bring the science of astrology to a level that everyone can understand (without betraying it).
ZodiacBrat is your one stop astrology and new-age resource covering all aspects of astrology including Sun sign horoscopes, astrology lessons, planetary schedules, astrology tidbits, and of course a little astrology humor. Wondering what's going on in the stars? We have eclipse, retrograde, and planetary aspects schedules for you to consult. Be sure to check out the Brat Forecasts and the monthly Bitch-O-Scopes where the horoscopes are funny but also accurate.
But... We don't stop there! Most astrologers do more than just astrology. That's why we also want to present you will the highest quality material about other esoteric subjects including magick, Eastern philosophy, Tarot, metaphysics, the paranormal, love insights, alternative health, and all around psychic readings in general. Our publishers search the internet for only the highest quality authors and articles.
Take some time and get to know us. Read our articles and check the astro weather forecast. ZodiacBrat will keep you up to date with the astrological trends that are happening now and in the future, and we will help you to understand just how those other planets in our solar system affect you. There are 10 planets in the zodiac, but most of us only know our Sun sign. Those 9 other planets can tell you more about yourself and your situations, and after you learn the other 9 planets, then you may want to take a look at the 12 houses of your chart. We understand that it takes years to really learn astrology, but we plan to be around for years. Be patient with yourself, and try to learn just a little bit with each visit. With a little time, you may just amaze yourself.
Zodiac Brat was created by Janet Moon and Karma's Venom, two psychics from PsychicBitch.com. Janet is an intuitive astrologer and has been writing forecasts and personal charts since 2002. Karma believes that too many people take life too seriously. She is here to make us smile and to remind us that all our worries are really not that important, when you look at the bigger scheme of things. These two gals work very hard to keep our site current and entertaining.
Janet Moon has a Cancer Sun, Virgo Moon, and Virgo rising. Her Virgo personality loves the details of the project, so she is our code writer and editor. Her Cancer Sun is located in her eleventh house of friends and hopes, and we've found that she is a very compassionate and nurturing person. Janet is also available for private readings, and you can purchase a hand written astrology report from her at her website, SparrowMoon.com.
Karma's Venom has a Leo Sun, Virgo Moon, and Leo rising. She is our "Drama Queen!" Karma has a way of expressing her insight by teasing people and yet making them laugh. She likes to get to the point and not mince words, and its very difficult to get her to write more than three sentences at once. But, she can say all that needs to be said in those three sentences, often with an implied wit that could make many think twice. Karma is not available for private readings.